How the need of validation affects me and what I do about it.
As an artist, I’m extremely scared of criticism. When I put my work out there, be it a write-up or an artwork, I just shut myself up and go into a corner and distract myself and try not to think about what other people are saying about it or if other people are seeing it at all. That’s not it when I send my work to some of my friends to get some constructive criticism, then too my heart starts beating faster. I’m worried if my work has come across just the way I wanted it to or it’s a disappointment. I’m scared of criticisms even when I know that is exactly what I need.
Even though I am scared of critics, I am hopeful and I want my work to be visible, to be understood by people. As a creator I want my creation to make another human being feel and look at the world differently. Because in the end what really is art? And what really is the purpose of an artist?
Adrian Elmer has rightly said- “Art is when a human tells another human how to be human.”
Is an artist really incomplete if they have not made even the slightest of change in humanity?
Most of the times, my hard work doesn’t reach the potential I thought it would, it doesn’t reach the same amount of traffic or likes, comments or recognition. It doesn’t get enough validation to boost my self-confidence.
Then is when I find myself in a pond of self-pity. I almost stop practicing my art form. I lose all the hope of becoming a professional, I lose all the hope of becoming somebody who has the potential to do something worthwhile for humanity and for our mother earth.
In those times, I read a 700-year-old poem by Hafez.
The poem goes like this:
I wish I could show you,
When you are lonely or in darkness,
The astonishing light
Of your own being.
by Hafez
translated by Daniel Ladinsky.
my interpretation of this lovely poem
This beautiful poem can be interpreted in many different ways depending on how you feeling right now or what your personality seeks. I would like to elaborate on how this poem works for me during my self-loathing period as an artist. It might be completely different than what you thought of it. So just remember there is no right or wrong here, just feelings.
Hafez says “I wish I could show you”- There’s no one else in this universe who can show us the truth about our own selves, about our potential and about our hearts -not even Hafez, although that’s all he wishes.
“When you are lonely or in darkness,”- Especially, when we are in darkness, when we find ourselves to be alone and when we find our art to be alone, untouched by others, sitting in a lone dark world, Hafez wishes that he could show us who we really are and how much potential we have.
“The astonishing light of your own being.”- ALL of us, all the creators, all the hustlers, all the still-figuring-it-out-s, all of us- are unique and beautiful with an artistic charisma which has a wonderful light of its own. Sometimes it’s only we who can see that light and its okay because NO ONE, absolutely no one, in this world can validate us as much as we can.
No one in this world can guide us into finding and then embracing that astonishing light which is within us, only we can find it if we look deep enough, if we look at our own selves without the filter of judgements from others and without the need of validation from others.
Hafez wishes he could show us how amazing we and our creations are but he can’t because all the light within us is only ours to understand, our purpose on earth is only ours to fulfil and our uniqueness is only to be validated by us.
Self-love may, After all, not be as hard as we may think it is! Loving yourself means to love the light that is within you and to love it even when no one around you is there to appreciate it because that light is unique to you- only within YOU.
I’m not the only one who is scared to be left undiscovered.
I’m not the only one who is scared to be alone with my own art. I’m not the only one who decides their self-worth by the amount of social validation they receive. There are people like me. There were people like me 700 years back too and they got over it and so can I!
And in a world of competition and extreme love and hate- That’s all I want, not to feel alone. Not to feel alone in feeling alone.
For this soul reason, I must keep creating and forget about being validated by others around me because they don’t have the potential to understand me, they don’t have the light that I have within myself.
As an artist I am complete because through my art I am bringing more and more changes in me and thus, also making a slight change in humanity.
I wish Hafez manages to inspire a little part of you because he has inspired all of me to keep growing and keep learning. Every person on earth is different and different things make them keep going.
If you have interpreted the same lines differently don’t forget to message me and tell me what they mean to you.
If you liked my interpretation of art, self-love, humanity and validation then check out my ART.
I Love making poems part of my life as they make me feel part of this lonely world.
One question for you: What is your reason of being here and reading this?